There comes a moment — often quiet, sometimes sudden — when you pause and ask yourself:
“Who am I now?”
It might happen while staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, walking alone after a heated conversation, or lying awake at night with a gnawing restlessness you can’t quite name.
Midlife can be a time of transition, reevaluation, and deep emotional questioning — especially for women navigating menopause, shifting roles, or changing dynamics in their relationships.
This is not a breakdown.
It’s a breakthrough.
Identity Isn’t Fixed — It Evolves
Many women spend decades being everything for everyone — the reliable partner, the hands-on parent, the dependable friend, the strong professional. But somewhere along the way, parts of ourselves can go quiet.
Midlife invites those parts to speak again.
This stage often brings with it:
Hormonal and physical changes (like perimenopause and menopause)
Emotional shifts (questioning long-held beliefs or values)
Sexual identity exploration
Changes in intimacy and desire
Grief or letting go (of youth, past relationships, old roles)
These are not signs of crisis. They’re signs of becoming.
“I Don’t Recognise Myself Anymore…”
If you’ve found yourself saying things like:
“I used to enjoy that… why don’t I anymore?”
“My body feels different, and so do I.”
“I’m not sure what I want from my relationship.”
“I’m craving something, but I don’t know what.”
You’re not alone.
These questions are an invitation to reconnect — not just with others, but with yourself. Therapy can offer a space where you don’t have to have all the answers. You can simply explore what’s true for you now.
Relationships Can Shift Too
As you change, your relationships may need to evolve too. You might find yourself:
Wanting deeper emotional connection
Feeling disconnected from a partner or old friends
Exploring sexuality in new ways
Reconsidering boundaries, values, or expectations
This can feel unsettling — but also empowering. You’re allowed to outgrow roles or labels that no longer fit. You’re allowed to ask for more.
In therapy, we can explore:
Who you are today vs. who you were expected to be
How life transitions are shaping your self-perception
What you long for — emotionally, relationally, sexually
How to reconnect with confidence, pleasure, and purpose
This is your time. A time to soften into yourself, to meet the new version of you with compassion, and to say:
“Welcome back.”
(Psychosexual therapy is a specialised form of talking therapy that focuses on emotional, relational, and psychological well-being. It does not involve physical touch, and all interventions are strictly verbal. This approach adheres to high professional standards, ensuring the safety, respect, and dignity of all clients. Please note that psychosexual therapy is not a substitute for medical treatment. For any physical or medical concerns, clients are encouraged to seek advice from their GP or an appropriate healthcare professional.)
Written by Mirlene Santos
mirlenesantostherapy.info
Mirlene Santos 